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Properly managing your time can help you to effectively produce more results, increase your free time, and lower your stress levels.  One key component of time management that we are going to cover in today’s article revolves around getting into the habit of meeting your deadlines.

Can you recall back in high school or college where you knew you had a major test or exam coming, but waited until the last minute to study for it?  Instead of pacing yourself and chipping away at learning the information for the test day-by-day, you waited until the very night before the test and pulled an “all-nighter” in order to cram all of the information in.  Ironically enough, this type of behavior leads to poor productivity and of course, loss of sleep!

There are many men and women in business that treat their projects much like the “all-nighter” example above.  They are assigned an important job and let the assignment sit and sit until they are literally racing the clock to get the work completed on time for the boss.  And what is the typical end result?  A project that is faulty with mistakes as well as unwanted stress caused by the delay.  In addition, your time will be squeezed thin even more for other tasks that are pushed to the limit because of your reckless time management skills

There is of course, a better way to handle your priorities, that will not involve stress, loss of sleep, and poorly finished projects.  And that better way is simple: Start on your work assignments as soon as you receive them.  If your boss gives you a report or a project to have finished by a certain date, then do not wait until the last minute to start working on it.  Start immediately!  In fact, start planning that day.  The same goes if you are self employed.  Actually, being self employed means that we must totally master this habit of meeting personal deadlines or else our business will sink.

You can start to take action on any given project by creating a separate project list and break down the assignment into sections.  Now take out your planner and assign a section for each day, or however you see fit.  For example, you may have a project that will take you a total of 10 hours to complete, but the deadline is not for another five days.  Most procrastinators and time-wasters will wait until the day before the deadline.  Instead,  your goal is to schedule small chunks to be completed one at a time.  Perhaps you can schedule this report to be worked on 2 hours a day for the next five days.  Or maybe you want to break it up into hour segments.  Any which way you choose will work, so long as you work your plan.

Although this advice is merely common sense, you would be surprised as to how many men and women are ruined by putting off their tasks until near the end of the deadline.  By breaking this habit you can start working on them long before they are due and the quality of your work will reign supreme.  Time management is not at all complex to integrate into your life, it simply takes discipline.

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We can become more capable and successful in relating to others when we choose to develop “proactive” rather than reactive communication. Proactive responding facilitates communication while reactive responding inhibits communication.

Proactive responding is the ability to listen to the other person’s feelings and empathize without taking responsibility for those feelings. Taking responsibility for someone else’s feelings creates undue emotional and mental stress. Ultimately, you’re more apt to respond in a reactive way, projecting your pent-up frustrations or hostile feelings on others. Reactive communication blocks freedom of expression of others. When freedom of expression is blocked, it’s like being submerged in water and drowning. When you fight to reach the surface and take a deep breath, first you’re relieved and then your body relaxes.

Reactive responding is unrewarding and discourages further communication. When you cut off communication, it’s like slamming a door in the other person’s face. If you’ve ever had a door slammed in your face, literally or figuratively, then you know it is not a pleasant feeling. Reactive responding creates conflict and resentment often leading to distrust and hostility.

Defensive communication may be a reaction to being held back or repressed in some way. Defensive, reactive communication erects barriers and creates resistances that close off and terminate communication. Trying to speak with someone about commitment in a relationship when the person is unsure about his/her feelings is difficult. When the person is noncommittal, your choice is to either act, or react. When someone finds it difficult to speak with you, you might react by blaming him; “It’s his fault,” “He’s acting in a childish way,” and so on.

Reactive communication constructs walls and roadblocks preventing us from understanding ourselves and others. A reactive response discourages and blocks further communication. Non-defensive communication allows you to express yourself in an open, honest and straightforward way. When you communicate to others in & proactive way, you become more responsive to the needs of others. Proactive communication helps to break down the walls and barriers that prevent us from communicating more effectively. When you’re proactive, you communicate with empathy. Communicating with empathy encourages mutual feedback and shows genuine enthusiasm. Listening to feelings and responding congruently to others are two of the best ways to develop healthier communications and behaviors within relationships.

Positive communication encourages positive behavior. A compliment can positively motivate you to risk responding in an interested, rather than a disinterested way. When you’re interested, you’re motivated to make positive contact with others. Responding to others in a ‘proactive way allows them the freedom to respond, or not respond, to you. You, as a proactive responder, can give this message: “I’m listening to you, and want to respond to you, and have you respond to me. However, if you’re not ready I’m willing to postpone my need to communicate and continue our conversation at another time.”

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An affirmation is a statement of truth you make firm by repetition. Affirmations always take place in the present, hence the wording is always present tense. “I am a successful orchestral conductor, making $100,000 per year,” is how to state an affirmation, not, “I’m going to be…” or “I really want to be….” or “If it’s not too much trouble, I’d really like to be….”

Make an affirmation for:

* Your purpose
* Your Big Dream
* Each of the goals along the path to the Big Dream.

Read each affirmation out loud at least 1,000 times. (An hour each for your Purpose and Big Dream; 30 minutes each for your other goals.)

When you affirm, all that is between you and fulfilling that dream surfaces - in other words, the drawbacks of your “comfort zone.” Expect fear, guilt, unworthiness, hurt feelings, anger and discouragement to do what they do to get you to stop. Keep going.

To bring up the limitations faster, look at yourself in the mirror while repeating your affirmation out loud. You can record your affirmations on an endless-loop cassette (the kind used for outgoing messages in answering machines) and play it softly in the background no matter what else is going on.

You can get an earphone and play your tape on a portable stereo wherever you go. Talk about your portable paradise. You can put your affirmations on the walls of your sanctuary so that you see them every time you come in.

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Are all memories created equal?  It is virtually certain that different people have different brain abilities for different things.  One of these differences must be in memory.  But most of the differences in memory abilities that we see in everyday life do not seem to be due to differences in the brains we are born with, but to differences in how well we use the brains we are born with.

Our brains are probably somewhat like our muscles: everybody is born with different amounts of muscle.  And this is probably particularly true of the muscle that is your heart.  So it is likely that some people have bigger, stronger hearts than others do at birth. But it is also true that many people can take whatever amount of heart they are born with - large or small—and train themselves up from couch potato to marathon runner.  The differences we find in everyday memory probably are comparable.  They are probably still mostly based on how much we exercise what we have, not how much memory we are born with.

This is not to minimize the fact that different people may be born with different memory abilities.  We know or suspect that there are genetically-based differences in brains. Some of the evidence comes from identical twins.  Identical twins are almost exactly alike in their genetic composition.  And identical twins show remarkably similar intelligence and memory abilities, even when they have been separated at birth and reared by different parents, in different environments.  They even show remarkably similar patterns of how those intellectual abilities develop childhood and adolescence.  These similarities suggest that there is a genetic program for intelligence and memory, that partly determines the intelligence and memory that we have in later life.

At the brain level, less is actually known about actual individual differences in the brain, and even less is known about individual differences in nerve cell connections.  But these also certainly exist.  One known example: an area of the cortex of the brain - the gray matter - is the first stop for information coming from the eyes.  This area of the brain is clearly important in vision.  Species with good vision have more of it; species that lose their vision (such as some that live in caves without light) lose this brain region.  In humans, on the average, this brain region is three to four times larger than it is in monkeys - some reflection of our superior brain power, we would hope.  But we also know that in some people, this area can be three times larger than it is in other people.

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Looking To Get Noticed?  Search For Ways To Earn Leadership Credibility

You can ask some people the direct question, “What makes someone credible?”  With others, you may have to be somewhat indirect.  Ask, “Who do you think is really reliable and can be believed?  Why?”  You may have to be even more indirect with some people.  Ask, “Who do think is a great leader?  Why?”  The responses you get to these questions indicate each person’s key credibility markers.

Once you know the important markers, assess yourself.  How well do you measure up to the standards mentioned by each person?  For example, assume your boss indicates credibility comes from an established track record of success.  Review your track record.  As another example, assume an important co-worker feels that follow-through on tasks counts as an important credibility marker.  Assess your level of follow-through on assignments.  In some cases you will not have to do much to build your credibility because you already stand out in areas important to others.  Your boss may already know you have a strong track record.  With other people, you may have to reinforce your credibility.  For example, you may need to demonstrate task follow-through with the key coworker.

Develop your capabilities in areas where you may not be as strong.  For example, assume field experience is important to a key customer and that you lack such experience.  Find a way to get some meaningful time working in the field.  Take on an assignment that provides you that exposure.  Assume an advanced degree represents an important credibility marker for some.  You may have to go back to school to gain credibility.

When I conduct leadership training sessions, I always ask the group to discuss the key credibility markers in their organization.  Several factors come up frequently.  They can serve as a general guide to build your credibility.  People often perceive technical expertise as an important indicator of credibility.  You can build this form of credibility by studying to become more expert in an area.  You can also use the language associated with a technology area.   Simply being able to use the correct terminology enhances credibility.

Consistency also comes up as a typical credibility marker because credible people are perceived as reliable.  Seek out tasks and do whatever it takes to demonstrate consistent action.  Other typical credibility markers include extra effort, honesty, and a willingness to stand up for your ideals.  Put forth the extra energy, be absolutely honest, and fight for your beliefs to demonstrate your credibility in each of these areas.

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Taking action to change your self-talk changes your self-image, awakening your awareness. What you tell yourself affects your emotional life. When your emotional life is affected, your mental and physical life are affected as well. This highly interactive and reciprocal condition forms the basis for all personal, behavioral and motivational change.

Changing your self-image will create a change in what you do and how you do it. A positive change in your self-image is a powerful asset to help you create success in your life. Experiencing a positive change in your self-image raises your self-esteem. Your heightened sense of self-esteem allows you to appreciate yourself for who you are and the qualities you possess: “I can and I will change my future!” “I can and I WILL change my life!”

When you change your self-image, you change your life. Changing your self-image also has an effect on others. Once you begin to see and experience changes in your life, you will ultimately help others to change. Showing concern, and expressing yourself in positive ways, can change the other person’s sense of him/herself. You have a choice. You can either encourage or discourage the beliefs of others.

Encouraging others will change the image they have of themselves. By changing your self image and increasing your self-esteem, you will help others to increase their self-esteem as well. In a reciprocal relationship, when you respond favorably to someone, or express yourself positively, most of the time the response that is returned will be a positive one. When you change your self-image, others will believe that they can change their self-image.

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Do you allow others to set goals that overwhelm you and leave you with feelings of doubt and fear, especially when you fail to reach them? When someone else continually sets goals for you, your sense of self-esteem is diminished. You increase your probability of following through on a task when you set the goal yourself.

When you set a goal do not allow others to restrict you by telling you that your goal is unrealistic. You have a choice. You can let their limited vision persuade you by telling yourself that they’re right or, you can persuade yourself by using positive self-talk that will help you concentrate on fulfilling your goal. Utilizing positive self-talk will prepare you for taking the necessary steps to make your goals a reality.

Changing your self-talk to clearly define and crystallize your goals and desires is the first step toward attaining them. Then, breaking up your goals and desires into manageable parts helps you to see what additional steps need to be taken to get the results you need. Initially, setting your sights to achieve a moderate amount of success is the best way to reach your goals. To reach your goal, move forward and develop a realistic plan to achieve immediate success. This will help you overcome overwhelming feelings of doubt and fear. As you complete each objective celebrate your success along the way.

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Success In Life: Start By Completing Your Unfinished Business

In order to reach great heights of success and happiness, whatever that means for you, you must start by taking inventory of your life and writing down what unfinished business that you need to complete.

Work: What tasks at work have been left without being finished? Is your work schedule manageable? Is your office a mess? Do certain jobs seem to wait stacked up on your desk forever? When was the last time you cleaned out your files? How orderly is your desk? What changes can you make at work, to create an ideal place where you can live your dream? Have you been intending to ask for a raise?

Are your travel and expense reimbursement forms up-to-date? What about other records you are responsible for keeping? What meetings need to be scheduled? What equipment needs repair? What improvements would you recommend? What have you been wanting to communicate to your employer, your employees or your coworkers? Any letters that could be written? Make a plan to do these things now.

Relationships: Consider each person in your life. What truths have been left unsaid? What messages need to be delivered? What regrets, resentments, hurts, criticisms and apologies have been withheld? What stands between you and this person? What prevents you from being completely open and honest with him or her? What keeps the two of you from meeting each other’s eyes unguardedly? What lies, half-truths and withheld truths need to be cleaned up? What broken promises and agreements need to be acknowledged and resolved, either by keeping them or by making a new agreement?

What can you do to repair or resolve any damaged relationships? Do you need to forgive someone? What amends do you want to make, if your actions have hurt or damaged someone else? Is there a relationship that has died or become injurious and needs to be ended? What acknowledgments do you want to give to people who have made special contributions to your life? Make a list of letters you will write, phone calls you will make, and talks you will have in person.

Finances: Is your current income enough, or do you need to find a way to increase it? What will you do? Is your check-book balanced? Is your money being handled the way it will need to be handled when you are living your dream? There’ll be no time for interruptions from creditors then, and worrying about how to make ends meet. Better get in practice right away: plan a budget and stick to it. Pay all your bills. Contact everyone you owe money to, and make arrangements you can keep, to pay them. Also, collect any money that is owed to you or your company.

Are your tax records current? Do you owe any taxes? Do you need some help figuring or managing your taxes? Are your tax files organized and accessible? What else needs to be done to organize your financial records and bring them up to date?

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If you believe you can’t possibly live your dream on your own, without someone else changing or helping you, you’re probably not living your dream right now. If you see yourself as a failure, you probably aren’t focusing on the possibility of being wildly successful. On the other hand, if you believe it is your destiny and your right to be tremendously successful, you have your eye set on that goal.

What beliefs do you have that get in the way of living your dream? Start by making a list of beliefs that stand in your way. Here are some examples:

1. I’m not qualified; I don’t know how; I’d have to have a college education.
2. It’s too hard; I’d never have any fun if I worked as hard as my dream would require. I need to relax.
3. I have to wait until…
4. Someone else should take care of me.
5. I don’t have what I need to get started.
6. I don’t have a sharp-enough mind or memory.
7. It’s too late to start all over; I’m too old.
8. I have to wait for inspiration to strike.
9. I can’t afford it.
10. Something or someone else has to come first, before my dream.

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One side of you actually enjoys success - and that side has a voice. It’s clear as a bell, strong and beautiful, and it says, “I love getting what I want!” It’s dying for exercise, so I’d like you to give it something to crow about.

Imagine you have gotten everything you ever wanted. Pick a life that feels closest to your dream of success. That is, pick whatever you’d have today if you’d never dropped the ball. Close your eyes and imagine: What does it look and feel like to have everything you want? Walk through every part of it, as if you were really there. Stay with this exercise for as long as you can - for up to five minutes - without stopping.

You’re doing exactly what you always longed for. You’re at your desk signing big checks, looking out over a beautiful skyline in your favorite metropolis. Or you’re on stage singing like an angel in front of thousands of adoring fans. Or you’re in the best research lab in the world, discovering the cure for AIDS. Or you’re on the dais at the Olympic Games, the gold medal around your neck, your national anthem playing.

Don’t forget to furnish your successful life with all the honors, accolades, and respect you’d have if you were completely successful at what you love. How does that feel? How bad do you want it? What will you have to do to get it?